Captain SpectacularOnce, he was the greatest super hero of them all. Now, he prefers to watch Jeopardy and go pantsless as often as possible. Cap is the most content and relaxed of all of Valhalla’s residents. The best part? All of his favorite people now surround him on a daily basis, including his old flame and current fiancee Spy Gal, ex-wife Star Maiden, former sidekick Jerry, and even his arch-nemesis Dr. Rocket. The Captain was once paralyzed, but was healed by the Healer. He no longer needs to even be at Valhalla, but chooses to stay anyway. Something to do with his pants. Currently, the Captain is mourning the loss of his son Tom, whom he mistakenly believes was killed by the Third Man. Powers: great strength, heat vision, invisibilty, a degree of invulnerability, etc. Real Name: Amram Other aliases: Medal, Wilbur Edson Comics: 408 | |
Spy GalSassy, angry and sexy as all get out, Spy Gal is Valhalla’s most reluctant resident. She has found some measure of happiness in the arms of Captain Spectacular, even while she’s always looking for a way to get the power dampener off her left arm and a way out of Valhalla. Currently, Spy Gal is busying herself with wedding preparations as she has recently accepted Captain Spectacular’s marriage proposal. Powers: Can phase her body and through solid matter, super strength Real Name: Vanessa Costa Other aliases: Operative 13, The Seductress of Syria, The Bane of Bangkok, The Ghost Girl of Georgia, The Delilah of Denmark Comics: 406 | |
JerryThe former sidekick to Captain Spectacular is Valhalla’s most enthusiastic resident. He is friend to everyone and everything, except Swifty and the forces of evil. He has long carried a torch for Spy Gal, but neither she nor Captain Spectacular are aware of that fact. It was recently revealed that Jerry is Dr. Klein is the Third Man. Powers: Can make doors magically appear anywhere. Real Name: Jerry? Other aliases: Dr. Klein, The Third Man Comics: 280 | |
Dr. RocketA founding member of the Lodge of Doom and a mad genius, the good doctor sent the shape-shifter Herman in his place to Valhalla to impersonate him. No one knows what the real Dr. Rocket has been doing all these years. All that is for certain is that, as of the time of Herman’s death, Dr. Rocket was residing in Cuba and partying with his good friend Fidel Castro. Now, the real Dr. Rocket is in Valhalla. He has promised to build the Third Man a giant robot for purposes unknown. In exchange, the Third Man agreed to kill Captain Spectacular’s son Tom. Dr. Rocket believes that the Third Man kept his end of the bargain, but in reality he did not. Upon coming back to Valhalla, Dr. Rocket donned the deceased Mr. Crook’s black gloves in tribute to his fallen friend. Power: Heightened Intelligence Real Name: Laban Other aliases: Nomedal, Dr. Nikola T. Rocket Comics: 269 | |
SwiftyA former speedster forced to use a walker just to make his way across the room, Swifty is the grump of the group. Wise in his own way, Swifty is largely ignored because of his abrasive attitude and behavior. He positively hates Jerry, for mostly unknown reasons. Not-so-secretly, the only person who has been able to elicit any sort of affection from Swifty is Star Maiden. Swifty also suffers from a constant need of sleep, a condition alleviated only by exposure to Space Pig Urine (or S.P.U.), which the Space Pig is reluctant to give up. Also, Swifty’s future self is known to pop up now and again with warnings against future calamities. Powers: Super speed of both body and mind Real Name: Gordon Jones Other aliases: The Quick Quentin of Jessup County Comics: 265 | |
Star MaidenThird ex-wife to Captain Spectacular, Star Maiden is Valhalla’s most tragic resident. Once the most noble and powerful superheroine in the galaxy, Star now has trouble remembering which year it is and if she had corn flakes or socks for breakfast. Her only companion is a stuffed, talking bear named “Clovis,” given to her by the recently departed Dr. Rocket, though Swifty is also known to tug at her cape now and again. Powers: Can shoot a blast of cosmic force from her hands, flight, super strength, possibly others Real Name: Elora (last name unknown) Other aliases: Queen Dark Maiden Comics: 208 | |
Soviet SamLodge of Doom” A founding member of the Lodge of Doom, Soviet Sam is an American citizen dedicated to all things Communist. Long Live the Proletariat! Haunted by his part in the death of Money Man, a founding member of the Society of Heroes, Soviet Sam currently resides at Valhalla as one of its more quiet residents. Powers: Super strength, super agility, super jump Real Name: Samuel Reed Comics: 154 | |
Space PigVallhalla’s chief Anesthesiologist, the Space Pig, like all space pigs, possesses potent Space Pig Urine (or S.P.U.) that will knock out any living creature for hours upon contact. He uses this gift sparingly. Comics: 112 | |
TangerineFor Tangerine, a good fight, good booze and good women are all he needs in life. He is known for being ruthless with his foes, killing them without a thought that goes any deeper than “him bad.” Tangerine was kicked out of the Society of Heroes for (apparently) nearly killing Dictator Tot. He now resides in Valhalla with the rest of the Fogeys, including one of his best friends, Captain Spectacular. Recently, Tangerine broke Valhalla protocol and killed the shape-shifter Herman, who was disguised as Dr. Rocket at the time, fulfilling the needs of his unique brand of justice. He now resides in Valhalla’s basement dungeon and his bionic hand has been removed. He also having second thoughts about his violent past. Powers: Has bionic enchancements, including a left forearm and hand that can crush a grown man’s skull with ease. Real Name: Mortimer O’Hara Other aliases: Not known at this time Comics: 111 | |
ZuridaCaptain Spectacular’s fourth wife. Zurida was a genocidal maniac who saw the Captain as her prize and mind-controlled him into marrying her. They spent some months together before the Society of Heroes found them and freed the Captain. Zurida returned years later to exact her revenge on the Captain and turned his fifth wife, Michelle, into a statue. Comics: 110 | |
PercyThe secret son of Zudrida, Mistress of Worlds, and Captain Spectacular. Comics: 88 | |
Alt. Thrice EvilComics: 74 | |
Money ManA charter member of the Society of Heroes, the Money Man died during their first mission. Comics: 73 | |
Dr. KleinThe founder and man-in-charge at Valhalla, Dr. Klein is a large and authoritative presence whose chief concern is the welfare of his residents. Secretly, he moonlights as the super villain The Third Man, orchestrator of much of the tragedy that has recently befallen Valhalla. It was also recently revealed that Dr. Klein is also Captain Spectacular’s sidekick, Jerry. Comics: 70 | |
Thrice Evilof the Lodge of Doom, has fallen far in his old age. Barely able to speak, he currently resides at Valhalla where Dr. Klein/The Third Man is able to keep him at bay with a device that keeps his mind and body addled. Powers: In his younger days, Thrice carried a staff that he could use as a weapon to discharge energy at his opponents. Other abilities are unknown at this time. Real Name: Bruce Baxter, Jr. Other aliases: Unknown at this time Comics: 68 | |
Atomic FlyWith the power of flying upside down constantly while seeing beyond the mysterious "fourth wall" with his many, many eyes, Atomic Fly has the power of the well-timed quip and the virtue of unfailing loyalty. Just don't ask him about his backstory. It's far too tragic (and possibly not true). Comics: 63 | |
HarveyDr. Rocket’s longtime pet and companion, Harvey has been there through thick and thin. He now resides with Dr. Rocket in Valhalla. Comics: 62 | |
TomThe son of Captain Spectacular, Tom is a jetpack addict who has seen his life and relationships with women ruined by his unique problem. He used to visit Captain Spectacular regularly before the Captain entered Valhalla. Tom had most recently entered into a relationship with Dr. Rocket’s adopted daughter, Ms. Missile. He was seemingly killed by the Third Man shortly thereafter, but in reality was brought to a secret dungeon where he is now locked away. Comics: 62 | |
Dictator TotThe Tot of Terror, current prisoner of the super villain prison Hel, loves coloring and world conquering. She came to Valhalla to teach the Fogeys about modern technology, and left after putting a bullet in Jerry’s chest as a fulfillment of The Third Man’s plan. Comics: 53 | |
GeneGene is an orderly that delights in making constant fun of the SuperFogeys, with only Swifty gaining any of his respect. He is convinced that Spy Gal is crazy and treats her accordingly. His only true friend is Dictator Tot. Comics: 41 | |
Michelle MastersComics: 41 | |
Raptor XComics: 40 | |
Ms. MissileComics: 38 | |
BezuelMaiden and the one who genetically engineered her to be a weapon. Like Star Maiden, he is a native of a distant planet known for its ruthless and prejudicial inhabitants. When he saw his daughter was of light skin and now as he designed her, he ordered his wife to throw Star Maiden into a thermal river. Bezuel was also something of a mad scientist on his planet, finding himself at odds with the planet’s champion, Starbrighter. When Bezuel threatened to snuff out his system’s sun, Starbrighter killed him. …or so everyone thought. His brain preserved, Bezuel went on to live a second life as a friend to Starbrighter, and, later, as a confidant to his returning daughter during her tenure as queen of their homeworld. Comics: 37 | |
Mega MattAccident prone and possessing no powers whatsoever, Mega Matt is quite possibly the worst superhero ever. His is equally as talented as a rap star. Matt was recently accidentally kidnapped and abandoned in 1955 by a time-travelling Swifty. His whereabouts in the present day–or whether he is alive or dead–are unknown. Son of Tangerine and brother to the Healer and Captain Emo. Real Name: Matthew O’Hara Comics: 36 | |
General WillComics: 36 | |
Alt. Ms. MissileComics: 36 | |
PilatiusThe Jorbon Scientist who held Captain Spectacular and Dr. Rocket captive for years aboard his starship. He also developed “The Process,” the means by which the Captain and the Doctor gained their superpowers and super intelligence, respectively. Comics: 36 | |
Star MatronComics: 35 | |
HealerA punk with a gift, the Healer can heal anyone of anything (except old age) with the slightest of efforts. Instead of using his gift to better mankind, he instead has parlayed it into a music career and making fun of old people. Son of Tangerine and brother to Mega Matt and Captain Emo. Real Name: Miguel O’Hara Comics: 35 | |
Third ManSecretly both Dr. Klein and Jerry in disguise, The Third Man is responsible for much of the machinations behind the scenes at Valhalla, including bringing Spy Gal, Star Maiden and Tangerine to Valhalla; giving Captain Spectacular back the use of his legs; orchestrating Jerry’s shooting; and having Herman the shape-shifter killed and the real Dr. Rocket brought to Valhalla, and the supposed killing of Tom, the son of Captain Spectacular. But to what end? Comics: 35 | |
President ReedComics: 34 | |
Alt. SwiftyComics: 31 | |
Captain Spectacular IIA bit of an oaf with a great head of hair, Captain Spectacular II takes the “society” part of being the leader of the Society of Heroes very seriously. Heroing is fine and good, but a great tea and polite company are what he feels are most important in life. It was Captain Spectacular II who, at the suggestion of the Third Man, approached Spy Gal about coming to Valhalla on an undercover assignment. The Third Man and CSII have been known to play XBox Live together now and again. Comics: 31 | |
Alt. Spy GalComics: 30 | |
Gina GallowayA psychologist who used time travel therapies, she whisks away the younger versions of her patients from their timelines in bubbles of light to help them work out their issues. Because Swifty is a speedster, she had a hard time getting a bead on him and mistakenly bounced around an old version of him through time. Comics: 29 | |
Alt. StarbrighterComics: 28 | |
T-MagusA wizard with many powers, he is a rapper who uses his rhyming skills for complex incantations. It was he who erased the memories of the younger Fogeys after their time travel therapies concluded. Comics: 26 | |
Nurse CarterThe soothing voice of reason at Valhalla, Nurse Carter performs her tasks out of a sense of duty, if not genuine love for the SuperFogeys and their place in history. Comics: 25 | |
Alt. TangerineComics: 25 | |
AzulariansComics: 23 | |
Captain EmoWith unparalleled power to both empathize and give empathy, Captain Emo has turned his gift into a successful career as an Emo rock star. It’s all in the hair. Son of Tangerine and brother to Mega Matt and the Healer. He recently gave Tangerine many religious materials to study in the hopes that his father can change his violent path. Real Name: Michael O’Hara Comics: 22 | |
Pink ShadeThis sexy siren is a founding member of the Lodge of Doom. At some point she reformed, but was later killed by Tangerine anyway. She penned the song the Healer and Captain Emo sang at Herman/Dr. Rocket’s funeral. Her (for the times) skimpy outfits made her a rallying symbol for the feminist movement of the 1970′s. Comics: 22 | |
Space PigsComics: 20 | |
Mr. CrookMr. Crook was one of the original residents of Valhalla and one of the founders of the Lodge of Doom. The one-time partner to Dr. Rocket died two weeks before Spy Gal came to Valhalla. Dr. Rocket now wears his gloves in tribute. Comics: 19 | |
Space MonkeysComics: 18 | |
Alt. SuckfaceComics: 18 | |
Alt. Cape of WrathComics: 17 | |
Carnation BelleComics: 17 | |
HeromanPossessor of an exceptional chin, Heroman is a current member of the Society of Heroes and is a fond of crossword puzzles. Comics: 17 | |
NinjalinaNot much is known about Ninjalina, except that she is a ninja, member of the Society of Heroes and a onetime bridesmaid. Also fair to say: good friend of Star Maiden’s. Comics: 17 | |
SuckfaceComics: 16 | |
Howard JonesSwifty’s father and, for a time, the disembodied spirit head that hung around Swifty to remind him of his true purpose and the “Prophecy.” Comics: 16 | |
Black RainBlack Rain is a current member of the Society of Heroes. Comics: 16 | |
MannyA Voodoo Wizard who, along with his wife, Monica, took Spy Gal in at 16-years-old and taught her all about bank-robbing. After Spy Gal was shot on the job, it was Manny who brought her back to life with new superpowers. Soon thereafter, Manny and Spy Gal embarked on an affair. Monica eventually discovered the pair and divorced Manny, freeing him up to marry Spy Gal and become her first husband. Eventually, the FBI caught up to Manny and Spy Gal and executed him in a hail of bullets. Comics: 16 | |
Bingo KnightAs Spy Gal says, “…there’s a superhero for everything these days.” A settler of “bingular disputes,” the good sir knight can instantly teleport to wherever there is a Bingo game in question. Comics: 15 | |
Venusian EvilhunterVenusian Evilhunter is a current member of the Society of Heroes. Comics: 14 | |
Alt. Jimmy-Go-DeadComics: 13 | |
SokolComics: 13 | |
SuperknockerComics: 12 | |
Alt. Master MasticateComics: 11 | |
HazmartyComics: 11 | |
Cape of WrathComics: 11 | |
Crimson SpelunkerComics: 10 | |
El Mago ExtranoComics: 10 | |
General MakusComics: 10 | |
Terrible LeslieComics: 9 | |
ReactorsComics: 9 | |
CamiCami is the granddaughter of Spy Gal and cute as a button. She is also a special needs child, unable to walk on her own or talk. However, she can make grabs for butterflies. Comics: 9 | |
SylviaThe put-upon, slightly impatient mother of Cami, Sylvia is the daughter with whom Spy Gal was living before coming to Valhalla. Comics: 9 | |
Violent VioletComics: 9 | |
General GrandstandComics: 9 | |
Jimmy Go DeadA founding member of the Lodge of Doom, Jimmy loves being bad, but he loves a good malt and a girl in a tight sweater even more. Comics: 8 | |
Death M.D.A happy fellow, Death, M.D. is very concerned with his patients’ health. Which, in his case, means he’s very excited to see them get sick and die. Comics: 8 | |
Duchess of KenoWife to Bingo Knight and mother to Baby Plinko. Possibly Bob Barker’s niece. Comics: 8 | |
Swamp MagistrateComics: 8 | |
Alt. Captain Spectacular IIComics: 8 | |
Hermanshape-shifter used by Dr. Rocket on more than one occasion (including a stint impersonating Captain Spectacular back in the Seventies), it was Herman disguised as Dr. Rocket that was one of Valhalla’s first residents. Thanks to a microchip in his head, Herman was able to think, feel and act just like the real Dr. Rocket. Things got complicated for Herman when Jerry hit him on the head during Bingo Night and damaged the chip, thus causing a slow intermingling of the Herman and Dr. Rocket personas. Herman began doing less evil and more good deeds and his natural stuttering habit began to come forward. Herman was finally killed when Tangerine came to Valhalla and dispatched him for his villainy. After his death, it was determined by Death, Esq. that Herman belonged in Heaven. Herman resides there now. Comics: 7 | |
WardenA busybody at heart, the Warden of Hel, the super villain prison, was reluctant to let Dictator Tot come to Valhalla in the first place. He relented thanks to Dr. Klein’s persuasive powers. Comics: 7 | |
BrockComics: 7 | |
BarryComics: 7 | |
Li'l ShortyComics: 6 | |
Killer LimeysComics: 6 | |
Alt. MommyComics: 6 | |
Force MajeureComics: 6 | |
Raptor XIIComics: 6 | |
MikeComics: 6 | |
RhondaComics: 6 | |
StarbrighterOstensibly a hero on his own ruthless world, Starbrighter is, by any conventional understanding, a villain. He and Star Maiden’s father, Bezuel, battled for years as antagonists before Starbrighter killed Bezuel in full view of Star Maiden. At the time, Starbrighter was serving as Star Maiden’s mentor. But, he was a cruel taskmaster and it was his harsh assessment of Star that caused her to flee to Earth. Years later, Starbrighter was killed by Star Maiden after he administered a serum to her that altered her brain and turned her towards evil. Comics: 5 | |
Ms. MissleThe adopted daughter of Dr. Rocket, Ms. Missile was also his protege. She is all grown up now. Formerly “Li’l Miss Missile.” Ms. Missile most recently struck up a romance with Tom, the son of Captain Spectacular. Now that she believes him to be dead at the hands of the Third Man, she is in mourning. Comics: 4 | |
Martha JonesSwifty’s mother. Married to his father, Howard. Comics: 4 | |
Papa CostaA Southern Plantation owner, Spy Gal’s father taught her all about keeping her body sacred, like a temple. This just made her bored. Comics: 4 | |
Lumbering JackThe Woolly Woodsman is the man responsible for felling the tree that rendered Captain Spectacular, Dr. Rocket and Jerry paralyzed. Because he’s stupid. Comics: 4 | |
Concubine CannibalsConcubine Cannibals, under the direction of their leader, Master Masticate, wreaked havoc and misery upon the good people of Africa. It was they who, in 1961, devoured the Peace Corps team that Tangerine was a part of. They then turned their attentions on Tangerine, eating most of his left arm and his entire nose. Tangerine later killed all of them in fit of vengeful rage. Too bad. They were super hot. Comics: 4 | |
Master MasticateIt was Master Masticate who ordered the Concubine Cannibals to eat Tangerine’s entire Peace Corps team as a retaliation against “American Imperialism.” Tangerine was saved for last, but the Cannibals were only able to eat his left arm and nose before being stopped by the Society of Heroes. Tangerine later killed Master Masticate in a fit of vengeful rage. Comics: 4 | |
Alt. Dr. RocketComics: 4 | |
PortalmakerComics: 4 | |
NatashaComics: 4 | |
ClovisComics: 4 | |
MadgestickComics: 3 | |
Death, ESQ.Sympathetic and professional, Death, Esq. is always there when a person’s afterlife status is in question. Comics: 3 | |
Fidel CastroThe longtime communist dictator of Cuba (now retired) provided safe haven for Dr. Rocket during his time in self-imposed exile. Fidel is known for his love of the ladies and perfectly seasoned orphans. Rumor has it his secret ingredient is mango. Comics: 3 | |
Sun DemonComics: 3 | |
Alt. ZuridaComics: 3 | |
Alt. HarveyComics: 3 | |
MommyComics: 3 | |
Aunt Harrietleaving the orphanage to become Captain Spectacular’s sidekick. It was she that taught him right from wrong and benefited most from the fame and fortune Jerry gained as a superhero. She died in the late 1960′s. Comics: 2 | |
NiadaThe mother of Star Maiden. She was a co-conspirator with her husband Bezuel is designing their daughter to be a perfect weapon. When Star Maiden was born with an altered appearance and Bezuel ordered her killed, Niada found love in her heart and ran away with her daughter to raise her on her own. Niada died at some point during Star Maiden’s childhood. Comics: 2 | |
Ms. CarterComics: 2 | |
CaretakerComics: 2 | |
Unicef UpstartsComics: 2 | |
UsherComics: 2 | |
Baby PlinkoComics: 2 | |
Space MonkeyComics: 1 | |
Betty HofstadtCaptain Spectacular’s second wife and his biggest fan…right up until she left him for another man. Comics: 1 | |
Lynnette YoshidaCaptain Spectacular’s sixth wife. She was also his physical therapist. She died of cancer shortly before the Captain came to Valhalla Comics: 1 | |
Samantha RobertsCaptain Spectacular’s first wife. A movie starlet who truly loved the Captain, though he did not return the affection. She was instead loved by Dr. Rocket, who accidentally killed her when she fell into one of the traps the Doctor had laid for the Captain. Comics: 1 | |
Captain SupermarketSeeing the mediocrity of pop culture as the one, true evil in the world, Captain Supermarket has dedicated himself to fight the good fight by any means or message board necessary. Comics: 1 | |
Robo-apeComics: 1 | |
TadpoleComics: 1 | |
Alt. Atomic FlyHailing from Earth-Avalon, he is in every way identical to his Earth-Abaddon counterpart. Comics: 1 | |
Long Arm of the UniverseComics: 1 | |
Alt. Michelle MastersComics: 1 | |
Dame DangerousComics: 1 | |
Senor CockfightComics: 1 |
CharactersBrock Heasley2020-08-11T01:08:45-05:00
